Transition stands for any kind of change, and more precisely, for the phase when you are “in between” – not yet there and not fully here anymore.
Even though it can be exciting and might have been initiated voluntarily or with lots of enthusiasm, the moment you are in a transition, moving from one to the other can be quite confusing and uncomfortable.
We have been moving to Spain very recently. It had been our plan since a couple of years to escape the grey rainy winter in Belgium. However, we hugely underestimated the emotional (and other) stress involved in this transition. Not only did things repeatedly not go as planned; it’s also been raining here more than in Belgium, we are dealing with legal issues and we had to move houses four times over the last three months.
In addition it was more painful than anticipated to:
- leave people, activities and familiar places behind (friends, giving yoga, my weekly market visit,…)
- take plenty of decisions (where to go, which house to choose, for how long, when to leave,…)
- make all the practical arrangements (admin, getting the car checked, last medical appointments, finding a house, packing and storing the rest).
Whether it is transitioning into a new job, moving to another city or country, the arrival of a new family member or a new life stage, it is most likely going to come with:
- fear of the unknown
- a sense of loss (leaving behind friends, family, colleagues,…)
- struggling with self-worth tied to a particular role (e.g. employee, partner, or parent)
- exhausting emotional swings from excitement to stress, panic or fear
- frustration when expectations don’t match reality (oh boy!).
- decision paralysis from having to make a multitude of logistical and emotional decisions within a short time
And that is absolutely normal!
It took us a while to understand and accept that even though desired and chosen, this transition is and has been quite a challenge. Being self critical, thinking one should be better at it or enjoy it more just adds additional strain, guilt or anger.
Is it worth it? Some transitions we chose, others we don’t. Some bring great results, some don’t (at least then we know!). In any case, we will come out with new learnings, experiences and choices; and most likely, new insights about ourselves.
“Change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” — Mandy Hale