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Personal development is not about avoiding the pitfalls. It is about learning to come out of them faster and stronger.

I used to think that still having real “dips” in my life was proof that I am not applying my learnings well enough. I was blaming myself for it. It should just not happen anymore!

But let’s be honest: we are human beings and as much as we learn about our functioning and our unconscious egoic voice, it will always remain part of us – same as our human physical bodies. We can’t get rid of these parts of ourselves. Nor should we want to.

It is a matter of fact and must not hold us back from living happy lives. In contrary. The Sufis have a saying: our dysfunctional personality is the gateway to our soul. Each time we get triggered, each time we fall back into self-pity, blaming or complaining, we can gently remind ourselves that all of these are signs that our ego’s voice has taken over again. The moment we become conscious about what’s actually going on, we have the chance to re-focus.

Pitfalls are reminders that we have given away our power and reminders that we can take it back any time. What do we truly want to experience in this situation? And like a detour by car or bike can make us discover parts of the city we have never seen before, these loops make us discover more about ourselves. We are not born enlightened. But we can develop our awareness step by step, pitfall by pitfall.

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