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Stop pointing fingers


We often talk about the past and how it has impacted us and who we are today. We are all aware about childhood wounds and the influence our caretakers have on how we see the world. That’s great to be aware of. However, today, when we suffer from consequences of these influences, we tend to point our finger and I often hear the sentence “I know it is because my parents did or didn’t do this or that”. Maybe. Today though, it is our responsibility to be happy. It is us who need to decide to make a shift. It is us – and only us – who can decide to act, live and see the world (and us) in a different light.

I am not saying there is no trauma or that it is your fault or that caretakers have no responsibility for how they treat their children. They absolutely do. But today, you are grown up. Today it is for us to decide what we believe or not. Today, we do not need to live according to premises we established at the age of three.

Even suggested or induced by parental influence, it is US who made agreements with ourselves, who decided or concluded that we are not good enough, not confident enough, not capable, too intro- or extroverted, and so forth. Whoever else may have said or made us think how we are, it is us who decided to consider it to be true and to write it on our foreheads. Today, it is nobody else’s responsibility to wipe it off.

And yes, maybe we did suffer. And maybe we still do. But no matter whose fault it is (if anybody’s) it just doesn’t serve us to point fingers. It doesn’t! As we are giving away not only our responsibility, but with it the possibility to get over it and to live a self-determined and happier life. Our life. Let’s grow up!

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