Having is evidence of wanting. Boom. Literally, if you wish to know what your raw, pure, unwanted desires (or animalistic aspects of self) are, the ones hidden and suppressed in your unconscious shadow – you just need to look what you have in our life, including all these seemingly undesired circumstances.
Have you ever considered that you take pleasure in the fucked up situations in your life? That there is some kind of excitement or enjoyment that comes with all this seemingly negative stuff?
Think of it this way, when we attract situations of pain and we get a lot of sympathy for it and we feel a lot of pity for ourselves, although the situation is not really fun, there must be something IN there for us – in particular if you see certain patterns repeating in your life.
I had to dig a bit deeper for myself – and found that in quite a lot of situations where I am utterly upset, I am still savouring a secret pleasure. Every situation where I get super angry about people in my life not doing what they are supposed to do, where I feel left alone or unfairly treated, I am also enjoying the poor me and being right about it.
Equally, when undesirable or even catastrophic things happen (eg Covid, wars), something deep down in me finds the sensation and drama kind of exciting. Is that easy to acknowledge? No! It is nothing we would want to admit openly as this seems to be kind of horrible. Yet, shaming and blaming pushes it deeper into our unconscious and thereby further out of our control.
Remember, our unconscious always gets what it wants. In admitting, yes even allowing ourselves to enjoy the “kink” of our “negative” hidden desires, they get pulled out of the unconscious into the conscious. When we powerfully and positively own our desires, they will stop showing up through the backdoor. They lose their fateful power to mess with us, allowing us to create what we truly desire and deserve in our life.
“Becoming whole means we recognize our dark, kinky side, and that we not only accept it, forgive it, and take responsibility for it, but that we love it, enjoy its antics, and finally integrate it into our whole being.” ― Carolyn Elliott