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You don’t need to be confident


Confidence is often seen as the number one requirement to succeed in this world. But is it really?

First of all it is important to distinguish self-confidence from self-esteem or self-worth. The latter is related to your BEING – how you are feeling about yourself. Confidence is more related to your judgement about being able to DO something.

This is interesting because feeling prepared to perform a task depends on your skills and experience and thus the confidence comes with doing. And not before.

It feels uncomfortable to do something we have no experience with. But waiting to be confident enough to take on a new responsibility, to start a new business, to be a keynote speaker, to move to a new city, to talk to someone you have a crush on,… is not going to lead anywhere. De facto, confidence is more a result than a pre-condition for any given task.

So what’s the trick? Apart from various possibilities to boost your confidence in a given situation (e.g. paying attention to your posture and your language), the recipe is probably to learn to be comfortable with not feeling confident. Trusting in your ability to learn. Allowing yourself to fail. And taking pride in it.

I have further discussed this with Genevieve Berclaz, one of the most confident looking women I know. You can watch or listen and learn some tricks to boost your confidence here (23 min):

“Learn to face fear, uncertainty, or intimidation – and act anyway. Because that is true confidence.” – Rich Litvin

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