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Judgement is a means to protect ourselves. To not let ourselves be confronted with the uncomfortable feelings and potentially needed actions related to it. It provides a safe distance to whatever we condemn in the other. But here’s the catch: what we judge in someone else is often a reflection of what we disdain within ourselves. The envy, disgust, or anger we feel toward others may reveal what we are unwilling to acknowledge within ourselves.… Read More »Protect your judgement

In our society, there’s often confusion about what it truly means to give and serve. Acts of kindness aren’t always about giving; sometimes, they are more about taking. When we do something with the expectation of receiving something in return, we are not really giving – we are actually taking. There’s nothing inherently wrong with either approach, but being honest about our intentions is a significant gift to ourselves and others. Am I helping you… Read More »Give or take

There has been silence from our side for a couple of weeks. No, we were not on holiday, we have been moving houses – and it has been moving a lot of emotions too. Luckily, conflict is a great tool for self-awareness. Dealing with stressful situations as a couple or family is a challenge. It is hard to take care of the other’s asks and needs when it is already a challenge to deal with… Read More »(Re)moving conflict

We need to treat change like a physical challenge – because it is! Change is as much a body thing as a brain thing. And the more you allow yourself to engage your body, the more likely you are to get to the other side. Let’s be clear: nobody manages to think their way into change. We have to act to move forward, to create momentum; we have to adapt when we feel it is not going in the… Read More »Change is physical

“Respect your boundaries” is a popular mantra, especially in personal development, self-care, and burnout prevention. But what does this truly mean, and how can we effectively set these boundaries? Firstly, recognizing our boundaries isn’t always straightforward in our fast-paced, 21st-century Western lifestyles. We are often extremely busy, engaging in activities because we feel obligated, fear being impolite, or struggle to say no. We aim to achieve our goals and enjoy making others happy. However, deep… Read More »Value yourself: set boundaries, gain respect

Why do most of us get pretty stressed at regular intervals, although we should know better? Most likely it has to do with an overwhelm of tasks and responsibilities, which at the basis is a clear signal that we are taking on too much. Accepting too much. And not picking and choosing enough. Not saying ‘no’ or ‘stop’. I am the best example for not dropping anything, even at times when there is a lot… Read More »Pick and choose

We often try to be likable. But the ones who will like it least, is us. What is this compulsion of pleasing and making everybody comfortable (except for ourselves maybe)? There is a societal need for certain rules and a decent level of respect for each other. Meaning that we listen, we respect other’s opinions and we try to control our triggers as much as we can. But that doesn’t mean we are supposed to… Read More »Don’t be likable

We often talk about happiness and the desire to be happy. In particular in personal development. But what does that really mean? It seems that the mainstream understanding of happiness is basically the opposite equivalent of sadness or pain. And often promoted as the ‘to be achieved standard’ in life. This is not only unrealistic, but also doesn’t do justice to the difficult moments we all experience. Being sad, to my experience, doesn’t exclude being… Read More »About Happiness

Going for something you want, realizing a project, a dream or even a small step or change in your life requires a decision. Not a wish, not a plan, not a “I should” or “I may”. But a decision THAT you are going to do or be something. A well-known proverb says that things start moving your way once you have decided. And this is 100% true. But there is more to it. As long… Read More »The Decision-Making Advantage

Travel is the one thing that brings out the best and the worst in us. Because we put ourselves in a situation where everything is different than usual. When I say travel, I do not mean a three day business trip or a two week vacation in a hotel in one place (although this can be quite challenging too!). What I mean is being “on the road”, being away from our routines at home. Because consciously or… Read More »Travel comes with side effects