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kink

Having is evidence of wanting

Having is evidence of wanting. Boom. Literally, if you wish to know what your raw, pure, unwanted desires (or animalistic aspects of self) are, the ones hidden and suppressed in your unconscious shadow – you just need to look what you have in our life, including all these seemingly undesired circumstances. Have you ever considered that you take pleasure in the fucked up situations in your life? That there is some kind of excitement or… Read More »Having is evidence of wanting

money

Money is love

Money is a delicate subject in our society. We all need it, we all want it. Our society believes more in money than in anything else, and of course, that makes it seem absolutely indispensable to our survival. And yet money is not just a currency. It brings up mixed feelings for most. Some might feel like never having enough, others see a ‘dirty’ side to it, some like spending and others don’t. It may… Read More »Money is love

dirty windows

Don’t make assumptions!

Assumptions set us up for misunderstandings and disappointment. Why? Because we don’t see the world as it is, but as we are. Our perception is different from anybody else’s. When we assume something, we do that based on our beliefs, our fears, our hopes and the stories we make up in our minds. We assume what is most logic to us. And yet. It isn’t to everybody else. Often we assume people close to us know… Read More »Don’t make assumptions!

words

Who’s responsible when someone gets hurt?

Communication is probably the most beautiful and most complicated thing on Earth. It has so much potential – and so much potential for misunderstanding. When I say something that hurts you, I can naturally assume that this is not my fault as I did not intend to hurt you. So no reason to apologize, to admit that I was wrong (it is so hard to be wrong!). But what if I was responsible for my… Read More »Who’s responsible when someone gets hurt?

mf

Create powerfully using both masculine and feminine energy

When talking about the masculine and feminine, we often rather compare these two, instead of looking at the beautiful marriage of both – in all of us. Masculine and feminine are archetypes relating to the energy moving through us and every creation. In other traditions they are named yin and yang, or shiva and shakti. Everyone of us has both feminine and masculine qualities, independent from which gender you are or feel you belong to.… Read More »Create powerfully using both masculine and feminine energy

vulnerability

Vulnerability is the door

We are trained to appear strong and successful. To be shiny and glamorous, to be Instagram-able and untouchable. As a consequence we literally become untouchable. We disconnect from feeling, from being open to the world, from others. There is no connection with anything when we are protecting ourselves from being seen: you cannot connect a plug when there is a lid on it. You cannot plant a tree on a piece of concrete, you can’t… Read More »Vulnerability is the door

intention

Intention matters

Words matter most when spoken with intention. When I have a fight with my partner because I feel not respected by him/her acting in a certain way, I can either address this from a position of “I am right and you are wrong and I want you to know that and to change that”. Or I can come from an intention of: “I want our relationship to be the most loving and amazing on the… Read More »Intention matters

breathe

Accepting does not mean giving in

When you are confronted with a difficult situation, a painful event like a loss, to be dismissed from your job or a split-up, your mind will be very busy figuring out ways out of the pain. You may have a reflex of numbing or distracting yourself (which is OK as we cannot always handle all emotions in one go). Or your mind will be looking for “ways out”, for fixing or making right what went… Read More »Accepting does not mean giving in

happy

What do you want instead?

Going for something is far more effective than going against something. Whenever we are angry or frustrated with a person, a situation, or job, we will try to get away from it. However, going with a negative emotion is not only very little inspiring, it can also be very misleading. When we are in rage, when we crave revenge, when we want to get rid of something or somebody, even managing to do so generally… Read More »What do you want instead?

yes no

Become an essentialist

Managing our agendas is probably one of the most challenging undertakings nowadays. Most of us are always super busy, at work as well as with family and in our spare time. With the result that we feel stressed, overworked, busy but unproductive and constantly in motion without really getting anywhere. The most common mistakes we make are: –    Planning in too much –    Underestimating the time things take –    Not planning in “rest” or break… Read More »Become an essentialist