If we try to be positive at any price, laughing away pain or just ignoring when things go down the drain, we are not gaining anything. In contrary. For someone who is struggling, it’s damaging to hear toxic positivity from friends or see people on social media saying to “just stay positive”. Why can things not be “bad” from time to time? What’s wrong with being sad or angry? We tend to create a segmentation between… Read More »Positivity isn’t positive
Most of us constantly worry about what others think of us. That we might look ridiculous, that people don’t like us or disagree with our actions. It is a natural thing as belonging is one of the most fundamental needs we have as humans. And when others disagree or dislike us, we put that at risk. However, have you ever considered that the majority of people are actually worrying what YOU think about them? And… Read More »Validation
Confidence is often seen as the number one requirement to succeed in this world. But is it really? First of all it is important to distinguish self-confidence from self-esteem or self-worth. The latter is related to your BEING – how you are feeling about yourself. Confidence is more related to your judgement about being able to DO something. This is interesting because feeling prepared to perform a task depends on your skills and experience and… Read More »You don’t need to be confident
It is so easy to criticize somebody. And it is so difficult to say what we want instead. Why? Because criticism is an oblique way to avoid rejection. To tell you that you did something wrong is safer than to tell you what I need and to show you who I am. Disclosing a desire is a quite vulnerable thing to do. When I express a wish, I might get hurt in not receiving what I… Read More »Behind every criticism is a wish
It is a fact that when we take time out to relax, we’re more engaged and productive. I know that. And, it does not really land with me, or encourage me to do so. It is a myth that burnout is only work related. It comes from people doing too much and/or being in situations that are so draining emotionally that they simply burn out. We cannot do everything 100%. We have to set priorities,… Read More »Burn bright, not out!
Why do we so often not receive or materialize what we go for? Why do we downsize or even abandon our projects? Sometimes they suddenly do not feel that important anymore… But the likelihood is big that what we went for or wanted is still true, but the tension it brought up got the better of us. In order to create great stuff, in order to approach anything that feels challenging, we better learn to… Read More »Make use of your tension
Having is evidence of wanting. Boom. Literally, if you wish to know what your raw, pure, unwanted desires (or animalistic aspects of self) are, the ones hidden and suppressed in your unconscious shadow – you just need to look what you have in our life, including all these seemingly undesired circumstances. Have you ever considered that you take pleasure in the fucked up situations in your life? That there is some kind of excitement or… Read More »Having is evidence of wanting
Money is a delicate subject in our society. We all need it, we all want it. Our society believes more in money than in anything else, and of course, that makes it seem absolutely indispensable to our survival. And yet money is not just a currency. It brings up mixed feelings for most. Some might feel like never having enough, others see a ‘dirty’ side to it, some like spending and others don’t. It may… Read More »Money is love
Assumptions set us up for misunderstandings and disappointment. Why? Because we don’t see the world as it is, but as we are. Our perception is different from anybody else’s. When we assume something, we do that based on our beliefs, our fears, our hopes and the stories we make up in our minds. We assume what is most logic to us. And yet. It isn’t to everybody else. Often we assume people close to us know… Read More »Don’t make assumptions!
Communication is probably the most beautiful and most complicated thing on Earth. It has so much potential – and so much potential for misunderstanding. When I say something that hurts you, I can naturally assume that this is not my fault as I did not intend to hurt you. So no reason to apologize, to admit that I was wrong (it is so hard to be wrong!). But what if I was responsible for my… Read More »Who’s responsible when someone gets hurt?